2018 was a year of change for me. It started out with being at the lowest point in my life but turned into my best year. It was also my first year of independence. No other period has ever been as profound as this one and though my takeaways may not seem much, they’re mine. On this life journey, two of the things I continued to learn to do was love myself more and at this point, with nothing holding me back and being in my 20s, learning to be more selfish – it’s not a bad thing when you’re young and hungry, that way you won’t leave any regrets when this time of youth has passed.
Lessons from 2018
~Happiness is what you make it~
At the beginning of this year, I went through the lowest point in my life. I absolutely hated my job – though not the actual job itself, but the people. There was so much workplace drama and tensions – it could have been a TV show. It drained me so much pretending like I was happy when, in reality, I went home to cry every day. The turnover rate was high and employees more or less shared the same ill-sentiment about the people running the company. Through it all, my Mom would always tell me that “happiness is what you make it.” I didn’t even have to tell her that I was depressed, yet she repeated those words at every phone call. It took the deaths of my grandma and grandpa to make me realize that life was too short to live like this, so I left that horrible place and came into my current job – I’ve never been happier. My only regret was not taking my happiness into my own hands sooner and not speaking up for the ill-treatment my fellow co-workers and I received at the hands of that company. Still, I’m no longer afraid to take the necessary actions to be happy as long as I’m not hurting anyone.
~Keep your eyes on your own path~
I stopped caring about people’s opinions a long time ago when I realized how lucky I was compared to a lot of those people, but phase-wise, I’ve always made sure I was on track with where society perceived I should be. This year, a lot of my friends got engaged/married and for a majority of the year, I wondered how they did it when I still felt like a kid (technically, in my asian roots, I still am), but for a while, I felt a little behind. As a result, I got obsessed with making bucket lists and trying to check off the items as fast as possible. Ironically enough, this helped me enjoy my life on a greater scale that I couldn’t help but focus on my next personal adventure – for example, I’m afraid of heights, but I rode in a hot air balloon and survived! I’ve always wanted to be in a pageant but felt too short to ever win, still I took my chances and actually won the title for a charity. I’ve never gone on vacations without my family, but this year I took two trips with just my friends and they were so much fun! – Overall, everyone has their time, so don’t feel the need to rush toward any milestones. Remember, everything happens for a reason and maybe you’re meant to focus on other things right now. For me, I’m content with where I am – focusing on adding to my life experiences, growing as a person, and making the most of my 20s.
~Love is everything~
There’s nothing like the feeling of being loved. As weird as it sounds, I didn’t realize how loved I was until I lived alone. Through the constant daily phone calls with my parents, through my mom sparing time to cook me baked salmon and chicken pasta whenever I came home, through my dad engaging me in (sometimes heated) political conversations, and hanging out with my brother who makes time for me despite being swamped with work and studying. I can take on anything knowing that I have people who love me unconditionally and knowing that I always have somewhere to turn to when I need it. Because of this love, I feel confident in who I am and I don’t need any affirmation from others.
Happy New Year, everyone! And thank you so much for supporting this blog that is so very dear to my heart! <3
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